Reflections on disappointment with God

I have been interested recently to reflect on both my own feelings in certain situations and a few conversations with others about their experience of God - including reflections of disappointment that God isn't doing what I/ they want Him to!

The undertone seems that I have been trying really hard to be a 'good Christian' in this area, and God hasn't rewarded me/ done what I wanted Him to! and the sypathy in me says ... "C'mon God a little encouragement would be a good here..." but I realise that this attitude really is way off...

As Dave reminded me "who are we to think God owes us anything!" HE sent His son to DIE so that we , being unable to save ourselves, could live!

God is gracious and does give good gifts to his children, He does bless us and provide beautiful moments on union and intimacy in our walk with Him and He does so much for us - but really it's not to be taken for granted!

What it comes down to for me is the state of our heart - Are we really serving him or hoping that he will serve us if we do x y z? Are we really in surrender to His will? Are we willing to suffer? Are we willing to OBEY? To walk in faith ... or are we still living in a form of rebellion to Him?

Well it is really surprising if I'm not experiencing God, when I'm holding out on Him? Thinking I'm doing this really hard thing because I believe it is the right thing and God would like it and therefore ..., but not being willing to give everything to the One who gave EVERYTHING for me?

Also if I'm not willing to grow or learn what God is lovingly and patiently doing IN me, resenting that he hasn't sent a quick fix to my problem/ made everything easier/ fixed that person already, I'm really looking at the wrong thing and it's not surprising that I'm left feeling disappointed and it's not surprising that nothing is changing.

If Dave had written this post it would be full of scripture, and I am sad that this isn't, because without the word of God it is lifeless, just my own thoughts and ideas. Just shows that I need to get into the Word more so that it flows out of me!