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Pics have been uploaded to Wilsonwalkabout of our adventures in Tasmania earlier this year (yeah slack I know!)

Reflections on disappointment with God

I have been interested recently to reflect on both my own feelings in certain situations and a few conversations with others about their experience of God - including reflections of disappointment that God isn't doing what I/ they want Him to!

The undertone seems that I have been trying really hard to be a 'good Christian' in this area, and God hasn't rewarded me/ done what I wanted Him to! and the sypathy in me says ... "C'mon God a little encouragement would be a good here..." but I realise that this attitude really is way off...

As Dave reminded me "who are we to think God owes us anything!" HE sent His son to DIE so that we , being unable to save ourselves, could live!

God is gracious and does give good gifts to his children, He does bless us and provide beautiful moments on union and intimacy in our walk with Him and He does so much for us - but really it's not to be taken for granted!

What it comes down to for me is the state of our heart - Are we really serving him or hoping that he will serve us if we do x y z? Are we really in surrender to His will? Are we willing to suffer? Are we willing to OBEY? To walk in faith ... or are we still living in a form of rebellion to Him?

Well it is really surprising if I'm not experiencing God, when I'm holding out on Him? Thinking I'm doing this really hard thing because I believe it is the right thing and God would like it and therefore ..., but not being willing to give everything to the One who gave EVERYTHING for me?

Also if I'm not willing to grow or learn what God is lovingly and patiently doing IN me, resenting that he hasn't sent a quick fix to my problem/ made everything easier/ fixed that person already, I'm really looking at the wrong thing and it's not surprising that I'm left feeling disappointed and it's not surprising that nothing is changing.

If Dave had written this post it would be full of scripture, and I am sad that this isn't, because without the word of God it is lifeless, just my own thoughts and ideas. Just shows that I need to get into the Word more so that it flows out of me!

A Week Flying Solo

Dave is away this week leading camp for high schoolers (yrs 9-12) aimed at working with churches to equip and train them in leadership skills. I really feel very excited that he is involved with this.

So while he is doing that I am at home with the girls. Last year it was awful as both girls were very sick, but so far this time it's going great!

Several things have contributed to this: One we prepared ourselves and the girls better. I have sought support (thanks Stefan and Ali!) and thus been able to give my support to Dave more whole heartedly. We have both covered this time in prayer - and also it is beautiful to hear Sara and Taliese praying for their daddy. :) David wrote them letters and they (well more Sara) have really responded to this.
I am relying on God for my strength and am generally in a better place with Him anyway! Dave has also really blessed me with thoughtful notes and encouragements before he left!

Sara has been fine, being older she seems to understand what is going on. Taliese however, does wake up distressed and searching everywhere for her Daddy and is more clingy than normal, but it's OK. We will be OK.

Also I am enjoying the different way I an relating to the girls, not sure if it's just because it's a change or what but we have been doing different things together (like catching caterpillars and hosting a clothes swap)

We also enjoyed a Veggie-face lunch!

However, I am regretting making this week so busy though - I think next time I will use the time to just be with the girls in a different way!

So my focus for the rest of this week will be prayer and trusting in the Lord - looking to learn more from him as well and a few chick flicks and some relaxing time out!

(UPDATE: Unfortunately I didn't spend more time with God, got sick and fell apart on the last day - but the first half was really good!)

Homeschooling thoughts

Several of Sara's peers are soon heading off to Kindy, and so I'm thinking I should delve deeper into what exactly it is that we are going to do now that we have made the decision to home school for the first few years.

Do I buy a curriculum, write my own or a do a bit of both. Do I buy one curriculum or a bit from a few vendors? How do I choose which one to go with? Where do I even start this research? How do I want to structure school time? How do I actively incorporate learning into homelife too?


Jenny kindly re-lent me the book I didn't read the first time - so I guess getting stuck into that will give me some direction to some of these questions... Would probably also help if I ever get along to a home school park gathering...

I want to focus more on the love of learning and understanding instead of marks and results as such. I think this will give the girls a great foundation to achieve whatever in the future, because they LOVE it rather than because they have to. Although I will have to try to follow the government guidelines more closely year by year, as we plan to send Sara to school at grade 3, but if I were planning to go the whole way we could take a more relaxed pace. (letting them go a ahead in some areas and take their time in others)

So far my key areas would be Maths, Phonics, Writing and Bible study. (I'm pretty sure science and art/ craft will happen pretty naturally too - science more than art)

Hmm... have much to think about! Not to mention I have still to sell home school to Sara (who really has no idea what school is but thinks it would be fun to have me walk her there)

Less is more

I have been challenged recently about how consumer driven our society is... how consumer driven I am...

It started with thinking about Taliese's birthdayand all the toys the kids have... why do people HAVE to buy them stuff and NEW stuff to make themselves feel like they are acting in loving way. Do the kids really value all the stuff they have... do they really need more to make them happy, smart, contented, etc...

(The problem is I understand because I love shopping and I love buying stuff and I love giving gifts too... just gotta change my thinking about how to do this well without buying into consumerism.)

Then I started reading this blog which moved the issue closer to home. These people are trying to not buy ANYTHING for a year. Admittedly she know how to wield a sowing machine ... but it's a big challenge to change my thinking on this. (No new clothes, furniture, DVDs, sheets, toothpaste, toilet paper etc... no consuming)

This article also had some ideas in how to help the environment and make lifestyle changes that reduce the amount of stuff we use and chuck etc. And this is always a good reminder of the long term impact of it all.

The bible says, "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out." 1 Timothy 6:6-7

I am challenged to make changes, live with less and to tear down some of the idols in my life that I simply cannot live without! (and I'm sure Dave will be happy with all the money we save). Baby steps to start with... I think the most important change will be how I think and feel about it all. Contentment.

These girls seem pretty contented with their blueberry and grape necklaces ...